NOTE:

Due to certain fears, and mostly because my blog was kinda, really personal - I hated certain know-it-all comments from random anonymous strangers - I have decided to make it private.


As for those whom I know, or do not know, yet wishes to have permission to view future entries, please comment on this post and I'll get back to you. Thanks. :D





P/S: Oh yes, I am planning to start a new blog. I'm still unsure about it. I love my current blog, because it details my life. It has documented in words, my ups and my downs for the past few years. Reading it back always makes me cringe, laugh, cry.. It's incredible, as I've said, to witness how much you've grown through just blog posts.


However, many -mostly all- my posts are personal. Some, extremely so. Mostly directed to friends, strangers whom I do not know have taken it upon themselves to read through my posts. I have no idea why such strangers have so much free time on their hands to read a random young girl's posts. I especially hate know-it-all comments from those anonymous strangers in my very, very personal posts. I don't mind if it's a close friend saying, take care or whatnot. But for one who says such random remarks.. Well, I hate that.


So yeah. A new beginning has taken over me now. That blog was written during my secondary/high school life. Should I, perhaps, document the current daily joys and sorrows of my life in Pre-U in a whole new blog?


There is one thing that will remain though. The fact that I tend to blog about personal issues, put up photos of myself, however ugly they may be, and put in family issues that afflict my life. It is undeniable that I will do so in the future. Because that is the way I blog, not for anyone else -I love the comments that come though- but for myself. For me to express myself in ways I cannot in that cold, barren world outside. When I first started to reveal my problems, I still remember what supposedly close friends said. "You always seem so happy in class that I didn't know such things happened to you." And we had been classmates for five years.


As such, if I were to begin a new blog, I might host it using Livejournal or Multiple, mostly because they can F-lock entries. If Blogger has that function and I had overlooked it, please do tell me how to use it. I will always put Blogger has my primary choice. Though Livejournal is a close second. Not having a random cbox at the side irks me though. Very funny, interesting random comments from friends who interact amongst themselves -without me- in chat boxes is hilarious. I'm also blur as to how to beautify LJ.


Anyway, random blog related things ignored, I love you guys who still care loads bout me to take it upon yourselves to comment on things that I do and everything. I know friends who still take that time to find out what's happening with me. Just a short click on Nicole and they're there.



Much love to you guys. I'm keeping a positive outlook on life, and I'm enjoying myself very much here. I'd like to blog about these second week, but again, it's personal. -There has been a time when I wanted to cry so very much, and I'm still conflicted about one particular choice that I made. I'm actually given a second chance to change my mind, rethink my decision, and as Chitra said. "It all boils down to this, are you willing to sacrifice everything and devote your life for others, or would you rather take that opportunity to satisfy your inner desire, that burning flame of yours and live a life purely for you?" -I changed it quite a lot, but that's basically what she said through sms.-


After every English lesson I regret my decision, especially after seeing friends alike studying Biology/Chemistry like their life depends on it, while I read 'The Art and Craft to Novel-Writing, for TESL students.


Really.


Oh yeah. Supposed to be a not so personal post. I see I've fallen far from the mark. What the heck.


Toodles people.


I'm off to ransack the library and find a cave of books to live in for the rest of two years. I've already borrowed 15 books on writing novels, and editing it. And not one of Biology or Chemistry. I heard everything or anything good was already borrowed anyway.


Yes, yes, I'm leaving.


Drop me a line. Even if I don't know you, then introduce yourself and I will consider giving you permission to hold one of the leash on my life. -Old computer from different era, which explains the lack of happy or sad smileys. But imagine one happy one right here, and an exclaimation mark behind the words, Bye.-




P/P/S: Noticed the lack of exclaimation marks? You know I never go without them. And without them, I sound quiet, demure, and sweet. I think. Which is so not me. XD